Badly Done Subtitles

Preface: Now, I am fortunate enough to be relatively fluent in French, and this gift makes it hard for me to deal with French movie subtitles, because I always feel like they are kind of wrong. Honestly, I know it's hard to create translations and subtitles that are wholly accurate.

Complaint: But on Saturday, I saw a super sad movie called Katyn, a Polish movie about this horrible mass murder of Polish intelligentsia and military officers during WWII. This was the saddest movie ever. It was crazy sad. And even though it was in Polish (I know 'please,' 'thank you,' 'okay' and 'cold beer'--'zimne piwo'), I could tell that the subtitles were terrible. It did that thing where they subtitles some written words (like on a newspaper) but no all of them. It did the thing where people talk for 45 seconds and the subtitle is "yes." It did that thing where they didn't bother to write out Christmas and instead wrote Xmas and has terrible grammatical errors (like my post).

So, seriously, if yu are going to nominate aa movie for a damn foreign film academy award, you have to have good subtitles. Waltz With Bashir had good subtitles. It can't be so hard. If you are going to make me watch the saddest thing ever, at least let me understand what is happening.

Dear Movies:

When Jews live in the forest because they are being hunted and murdered by the Nazis, they don't wear lipstick.

Sad, Sad Things

Sometimes two really good things will come together and make something awesome. Like that cute band She and Him, with M. Ward and Zoey Deschanel. SO cute!
Sometime two really good things will come together and make something terrible. Simply terrible. I give you exhibit A: The new Pink Panther franchise starring Steve Martin. I love the original Pink Panther with Peter Sellers, and I love Steve Martin. My mom used to joke that my dad was going to act the way that Steve Martin did in Father of the Bride. (Sadly, she now just jokes that the only boys who like me are 3 years old and like it when I read to them.) But wow, wow, wow. The new Pink Panther franchise is not okay with me. What a boondoggle-seeming situation. I know I shouldn't really critique something I haven't seen, but judging from the previews...

People who talk on the phone at a movie

Seriously? You just paid $12 to see Synecdoche, New York, and you are going to take a phone call in the middle of it and then talk on the phone on the stairs on your way outside? Ridiculous. More to the point, I paid $12 to see Synedoche, New York, and you have just interrupted my afternoon by being ridiculous. Save your money and stay home, watch something on On-Demand cable and don't bother the rest of us. Unless you are a doctor, there is no call that you have to take in the middle of my movie-going experience.