Appropriate email signatures

If you have a job in an office, and that job involves emailing people you don't know, ever, then your email signature should have the following information only: your name, title, relevant appropriate contact information, company-required/sanctioned branding as relevant, and any legal disclaimers required. That's it.

No, for real, that's it.

If there's a quote, it should be related to your company--like, for example, a positive statement from an article (which of course falls under branding as indicated above).

You know what is unacceptable under any circumstance? ANYTHING ELSE. You can put whatever you please at the end of your personal emails to your friends. Fine. I'll judge, but if we're friends presumably I'll either find it funny/apt or forgive you the inanity because of your shining personality.

I don't want a work email to advise me that the shortest distance between two people is actually a smile, or to include a pun on minds and matter, or anything else in that vein. It's not just that I'm a super judgy person, it's also that email doesn't convey tone or intent and you never know how someone you don't know is going to react to your pithy quote. Including, of course, that judgy a-holes like me will make some potentially inaccurate assumptions about you.

Summer Weather

Yeah, it's summer. I get it.

But honestly, I don't own an air conditioner. I hate air conditioners. I am afraid that if I did have one it would fall out the window and kill someone. I know I am in the minority on this, but I will not pay those electricity bills.

But it had been so hot lately. I had to move last weekend in 90-degree heat, which is not awesome, contrary to what you might think.

So, I have devised the following heat beating practices:
1. No pants; skirts and dresses only
2. At least 2 showers a day (sorry, Heidi/nature!)
3. two fans pointed directly at me while I sleep
4. constant hydration, to the point of insanity
5. 1/2 pitcher of pomegranate-green tea iced tea daily
6. mineral makeup--it doesn't melt off my face
7. getting a job in an air conditioned office building
8. no blankets at all
9. wet washcloth, cooled in the freezer, on my forehead as I go to sleep
10. moving out of Manhattan
11. devising a few commutes to work that optimize the likelihood of being in an air conditioned train car; similarly, transferring trains only in cooler stations (Hoyt-Schemerhorn as opposed to Jay Street-Borough Hall, for example)
12. lights off as much as possible
13. looking at my huge collection of hats and scarves every day to remind myself that this too shall pass!

Tell me your heat-beating tips! I need to know!

Victory!

"Paulus also changed the spelling of the company name, changing the "Theatre" in A.R.T. to "Theater.""

Baby Jewelery

I was on the train yesterday, and saw a little boy wearing a couple of bracelets, one of which was made of small beads that would be sure easy to choke on accidentally if he were to chew on it constantly, which he was.

It reminded me of how much I dislike babies with pierced ears. I just don't care for it. For some reason, it reminds me of Baby Beauty Pageant contestants, JonBennet Ramsey and other creepy stuff like that.

I got my ears pierced when I was probably five or six. By that time I had hair and a head big enough not to be overwhelmed by the small blue stone studs I wore for the 500 years subsequent. My pediatrician still thought I was too young, but my mom was such a hippie, you guys!

Anyway, gross. Say No to baby pierced ears!

Other "gym" etiquette

So, I go to this insane yoga, but other people go to the gym, where the following situations may occur, much to my chagrin, in the locker room:

Women who text naked
Women who talk on the phone naked
Women who text and/or talk on the phone topless
Women who take pictures with their friends

I mean, I want to free my hips. But this is too free.

Also, in re: yesterday's post: yes, I can see your thong through those leggings. Go away from me.

An OPen Letter to the Ladies from my Yoga Studio

This yoga studio, which is Bikram style, and therefore extremely hot, humid and sweaty, encourages some fairly naked fashion choices. That's cool, the beach is one of my favorite places. I don't mind being the girl dressed comparatively Amish-ly in my leggings and workout tank top. But seriously, no matter what you wear, please, please, please DON'T wear ridiculous pants that are so see-through that I can see your underpanties! Honestly! Two days in a row, I have been placed squarely behind the most see-through pants-wearing ladies, and it must stop. Mostly, it's funny, but in general, I am now begging you to employ futuristic exercise fashions that cover up your bum. This is for you, polkadot bikini girl.

Job Search

This will be the first of many complaints about my attempt to get a job.

This woman with whom I went to graduate school just got a position that I applied for as well. I am very happy for her; it's a great organization with a lot of wonderful programs.

I applied for this job, and a month later got a letter saying that I wasn't even qualified enough for an interview.

Ouch.