Saturday, January 31, 2009
People who talk on the phone at a movie
Seriously? You just paid $12 to see Synecdoche, New York, and you are going to take a phone call in the middle of it and then talk on the phone on the stairs on your way outside? Ridiculous. More to the point, I paid $12 to see Synedoche, New York, and you have just interrupted my afternoon by being ridiculous. Save your money and stay home, watch something on On-Demand cable and don't bother the rest of us. Unless you are a doctor, there is no call that you have to take in the middle of my movie-going experience.
Parking Lots
Most of my ire on this subject has historically been directed toward the Whole Foods parking lot on Ashland, however, I was there yesterday and the direction signs seem to have entirely faded (THEY'VE GIVEN UP) and thus my righteous indignation is less righteous. However. Back to the point:
In many parking lots there are arrows painted on the ground showing the direction of traffic. I point this out because most of you don't seem to notice this. You know why those arrows are there? Because if people obey them, we'll all get out of the lot faster, with fewer accidents, and in an orderly fashion.
I live in a city. Even in this city with lots of land, most parking lots are not big enough for each lane to be two-directional and for cars to pull in and out easily. It may seem sometimes that it will be quicker to cut across several lanes in the wrong direction. If it's 4am and there's no one there, sure. That seems reasonable. But at, say, 6:30pm on a weekday at a grocery store...no. Unacceptable.
But, you say, if I don't do that the car over there will get that space I see! That perfect space. True. That may be true. But you know what? I'm in that car over there, and I followed the god damn rules, and you're being an a-hole.
Ahem. Rudeness aside, going the wrong direction also causes the entire system to slow down. Cars can't pull out of spaces for fear of hitting everyone else. The cars with their lights blinking waiting for the other cars that are pulling out sometimes have to back up and go around. (only to have their slots stolen by a-holes, most likely). It all becomes dangerous, slow, and incredibly frustrating.
Anyone who has occasion to be near the aforementioned Whole Foods on a weekday after work can attest to this. Traffic will back up for blocks as people can't turn off the street into the lot because there's too much traffic within the lot. Some of that is not fixable. But most of it is, or would be if they hadn't given up and let the arrows fade. (Also, the problem at this lot is compounded by the fact that the Whole Foods patrons seem loath to use the indoor adjacent parking lot that is also free. So there will often be many empty spaces inside while a dozen cars back up traffic for blocks with their idiotic, non-arrow-following, ways).
I see three solutions:
1) Bikes and backpacks
2) Get rid of surface parking. Move it all into lots underground with their elaborate one-way lanes.
3) Stop being a-holes. Follow the rules.
In many parking lots there are arrows painted on the ground showing the direction of traffic. I point this out because most of you don't seem to notice this. You know why those arrows are there? Because if people obey them, we'll all get out of the lot faster, with fewer accidents, and in an orderly fashion.
I live in a city. Even in this city with lots of land, most parking lots are not big enough for each lane to be two-directional and for cars to pull in and out easily. It may seem sometimes that it will be quicker to cut across several lanes in the wrong direction. If it's 4am and there's no one there, sure. That seems reasonable. But at, say, 6:30pm on a weekday at a grocery store...no. Unacceptable.
But, you say, if I don't do that the car over there will get that space I see! That perfect space. True. That may be true. But you know what? I'm in that car over there, and I followed the god damn rules, and you're being an a-hole.
Ahem. Rudeness aside, going the wrong direction also causes the entire system to slow down. Cars can't pull out of spaces for fear of hitting everyone else. The cars with their lights blinking waiting for the other cars that are pulling out sometimes have to back up and go around. (only to have their slots stolen by a-holes, most likely). It all becomes dangerous, slow, and incredibly frustrating.
Anyone who has occasion to be near the aforementioned Whole Foods on a weekday after work can attest to this. Traffic will back up for blocks as people can't turn off the street into the lot because there's too much traffic within the lot. Some of that is not fixable. But most of it is, or would be if they hadn't given up and let the arrows fade. (Also, the problem at this lot is compounded by the fact that the Whole Foods patrons seem loath to use the indoor adjacent parking lot that is also free. So there will often be many empty spaces inside while a dozen cars back up traffic for blocks with their idiotic, non-arrow-following, ways).
I see three solutions:
1) Bikes and backpacks
2) Get rid of surface parking. Move it all into lots underground with their elaborate one-way lanes.
3) Stop being a-holes. Follow the rules.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Rick Warren
This is not trivial, and not that recent, but it makes me mad, so I am going to say my piece. Rick Warren should not have been invited to give a prayer at Obama's inauguration. Seriously. This is probably a good guy, and he obviously inspires a lot of people, but he is not, to me, a role model of the Christian faith. He has spent time and money preaching on the evils of homosexuality and gay marriage. Boo to that. Boo, I say! What ever happened to love thy neighbor as thyself, and forgiveness and tolerance? Why give this guy a platform from which to speak? Why validate his hateful positions under the guise of bi-partisan cooperation? The Republicans aren't going to vote for the stimulus package because Rick Warren was on the dais. Plus, how many other amazing, inspiring Christian leaders are there in this country who could have given the prayer? There must be one of two? I always liked the crazy Catholic priests we had at Bond Chapel. They spent way more time talking about the evils of capital punishment and never once mentioned abortion while I was there.
Sigh, Prez Obama. Sigh.
Sigh, Prez Obama. Sigh.
Electronic Resources
Now, I realize that this is a first world problem of the highest order, and one that really applies only to people like me, whose work-study job is to conduct research on South Africa for a professor in my graduate school program. Now, I love this job, and I will be really sad to have to leave it in May, so I take this rather seriously.
It is my current assignment to proof a bibliography for this professor's new book, and it is so much harder than it should be. Half the newspapers that are supposed to be on LexisNexis aren't, and Factiva is a fucking joke. Seriously. I never thought I would ever care, but I really do. I take issue with this mainly because these newspapers are 2nd/3rd world publications, and they are not being properly documented, which I think is kind of racist. Anyway, it makes me super mad that there is no way to double check the page number of an article in the Mail & Guardian because it is not properly archived online. Dumb. This is what the internet is for!
It is my current assignment to proof a bibliography for this professor's new book, and it is so much harder than it should be. Half the newspapers that are supposed to be on LexisNexis aren't, and Factiva is a fucking joke. Seriously. I never thought I would ever care, but I really do. I take issue with this mainly because these newspapers are 2nd/3rd world publications, and they are not being properly documented, which I think is kind of racist. Anyway, it makes me super mad that there is no way to double check the page number of an article in the Mail & Guardian because it is not properly archived online. Dumb. This is what the internet is for!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
New Haven
If you went to Yale, and someone asks you where you went to college, please don't say "New Haven." We know what that means; you went to Yale. Good for you- you are probably smart. Bad for us, you are totally pretentious. I do not think that you are modest and awesome. I think that you are assuming that I know that Yale is in New Haven (which I do, but still), and that makes me think that you are saying your university is so famous that I should be in awe of you and feel bad about myself, and that makes me think that you are a douche. Note: this also goes for Cambridge/Harvard. Similar unacceptable statements include "while I was in New Haven, I dated this guy..." No. Please say, "at Yale" or "at college." Exceptions are if you are talking about something New Haven specific- like "When I lived in New Haven, I ate a lot of pizza." That is fine but barely.
Interestingly, the same goes for if you went to New Haven Technical Institute. If you say, "when I was studying in New Haven..." I will think of Yale. And then it is weird when I find out that you didn't go to Yale, and wonder why you are ashamed of your school. I actually find that less annoying, though.
Interestingly, the same goes for if you went to New Haven Technical Institute. If you say, "when I was studying in New Haven..." I will think of Yale. And then it is weird when I find out that you didn't go to Yale, and wonder why you are ashamed of your school. I actually find that less annoying, though.
Ex-boyfriends Ruining Songs
So, sometimes you have a boyfriend (or girlfriend, or transgendered friend), and (s)he is the worst, or your relationship is terrible, or you break up because he wants to get back together with a Scientologist. This sucks. Truly. Not Trivial in the slightest.
But the worst is when you hear a song and you think of this person, and you cry and the song in RUINED.
That is so lame. Songs are for all people! I want to listen to "Lay, Lady, Lay" on repeat because it is great, not because this one time we heard it at a concert and it is so romantic. It's not romantic. It is sad as hell, and vaguely abusive.
I am happy to say that tonight, a number of songs that once belonged to the ages have helped me write my thesis. Take that, boys!
This is the first in a series of Valentine's Day related posts that have nothing to do with my non-existent love life.
But the worst is when you hear a song and you think of this person, and you cry and the song in RUINED.
That is so lame. Songs are for all people! I want to listen to "Lay, Lady, Lay" on repeat because it is great, not because this one time we heard it at a concert and it is so romantic. It's not romantic. It is sad as hell, and vaguely abusive.
I am happy to say that tonight, a number of songs that once belonged to the ages have helped me write my thesis. Take that, boys!
This is the first in a series of Valentine's Day related posts that have nothing to do with my non-existent love life.
Cake does not come from a mix
I make no claims on the cooking front. I agree with Dixie that modifying prepared food does not count as creating an amazing recipe, though I have recently become a big fan of Cooking With All Things Trader Joe's. I'm good at making marinara sauce, poached eggs and spinach (often together). Beyond that, I'm really good at delivery and leftovers.
However, when it comes to baking I have some feelings.
Thing 1, Cake does not come from a mix. Neither do cookies. Or pancakes.
Here's the secret about baking: the hardest part is cleaning up. Beyond that, it's chemistry. Unless you want to get fancy and make up your own new taste sensations, all you have to do is precisely follow the directions. Sure, you may have to make an allowance for an unbalanced oven or altitude, but beyond that....follow the directions.
You don't have to chop a million spices, use any fancy knife skills, or constantly taste for salt. Nope, just follow the instructions in the recipe. Easy. Baking a cake is much easier than making a killer entree.
Cake mixes require, and please correct me if I'm wrong, adding 3 or so ingredients to the mix, then putting it in a pan and baking it. Baking a cake from scratch adds a few more ingredients (but not that many more) and creates a much more delicious end product with many fewer chemicals.
Example. The internet tells me that Betty Crocker "super moist" chocolate cake mix contains: Sugar, Enriched Flour Bleached (Wheat Flour, Niacin, Iron, Thiamin Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid), Partially Hydrogenated Soybean and/or Cottonseed Oil, Cocoa Processed with Alkali, Modified Corn Starch, Corn Starch, Baking Soda, Carob Powder, Propylene Glycol Monoesters of Fatty Acids, Lactose, Salt, Distilled Monoglycerides, Modified Whey, Artificial Color, Sodium Aluminum Phosphate, Dicalcium Phosphate, Monocalcium Phosphate, Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate, Monoglycerides, Xanthan Gum, Datem. Artificial Flavor, Aluminum Sulfate.
To that list of unpronounceables one adds vegetable oil, water, and eggs.
Do you even know what half those things are? They don't even bother to break out "artificial flavor".
My grandmother's super moist chocolate cake recipe, by contrast, calls for sugar, butter, eggs, milk, hot water, baking soda, flour, cocoa, and vanilla. 9 ingredients, all of which most of you have in your kitchen already. There are many simpler cake recipes that use fewer ingredients, this is just a compare and contrast.
I'll guarantee you that the "from scratch" cake takes only 5 minutes longer to prepare and tastes much much better.
I feel similarly about cookies and brownies, and please let's not get started on Bisquick for pancakes. Making pancakes from scratch requires flour, baking soda, milk, and an egg. Oh, and a dash of salt, and of course butter or oil for the griddle. Making pancakes from Bisquick does not save any time, and I'll put my pancakes next to yours any day. Plus then you have a big yellow box in your cupboard when you could just have flour.
Look, I'm all for laziness. I eat the occasional frozen dinner. But if you're going to make cake, it might as well taste delicious.
Oh, and frosting? It does not come from a can. It comes from mixing confectioners sugar with milk and butter. Or any number of other 3 ingredient options.
However, when it comes to baking I have some feelings.
Thing 1, Cake does not come from a mix. Neither do cookies. Or pancakes.
Here's the secret about baking: the hardest part is cleaning up. Beyond that, it's chemistry. Unless you want to get fancy and make up your own new taste sensations, all you have to do is precisely follow the directions. Sure, you may have to make an allowance for an unbalanced oven or altitude, but beyond that....follow the directions.
You don't have to chop a million spices, use any fancy knife skills, or constantly taste for salt. Nope, just follow the instructions in the recipe. Easy. Baking a cake is much easier than making a killer entree.
Cake mixes require, and please correct me if I'm wrong, adding 3 or so ingredients to the mix, then putting it in a pan and baking it. Baking a cake from scratch adds a few more ingredients (but not that many more) and creates a much more delicious end product with many fewer chemicals.
Example. The internet tells me that Betty Crocker "super moist" chocolate cake mix contains: Sugar, Enriched Flour Bleached (Wheat Flour, Niacin, Iron, Thiamin Mononitrate, Riboflavin, Folic Acid), Partially Hydrogenated Soybean and/or Cottonseed Oil, Cocoa Processed with Alkali, Modified Corn Starch, Corn Starch, Baking Soda, Carob Powder, Propylene Glycol Monoesters of Fatty Acids, Lactose, Salt, Distilled Monoglycerides, Modified Whey, Artificial Color, Sodium Aluminum Phosphate, Dicalcium Phosphate, Monocalcium Phosphate, Sodium Stearoyl Lactylate, Monoglycerides, Xanthan Gum, Datem. Artificial Flavor, Aluminum Sulfate.
To that list of unpronounceables one adds vegetable oil, water, and eggs.
Do you even know what half those things are? They don't even bother to break out "artificial flavor".
My grandmother's super moist chocolate cake recipe, by contrast, calls for sugar, butter, eggs, milk, hot water, baking soda, flour, cocoa, and vanilla. 9 ingredients, all of which most of you have in your kitchen already. There are many simpler cake recipes that use fewer ingredients, this is just a compare and contrast.
I'll guarantee you that the "from scratch" cake takes only 5 minutes longer to prepare and tastes much much better.
I feel similarly about cookies and brownies, and please let's not get started on Bisquick for pancakes. Making pancakes from scratch requires flour, baking soda, milk, and an egg. Oh, and a dash of salt, and of course butter or oil for the griddle. Making pancakes from Bisquick does not save any time, and I'll put my pancakes next to yours any day. Plus then you have a big yellow box in your cupboard when you could just have flour.
Look, I'm all for laziness. I eat the occasional frozen dinner. But if you're going to make cake, it might as well taste delicious.
Oh, and frosting? It does not come from a can. It comes from mixing confectioners sugar with milk and butter. Or any number of other 3 ingredient options.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
