It's The Recession, Stupid

I have new least favorite phrase. I spent much of last week at seminars and networking events and meetings with others who do similar work. At many of these events we discussed, natch, the art of fundraising in difficult times.

The following phrases were pretty common:
"What do you think the impact of the economy will be for you?"
"Will you have to cut expenses because of the economy?"

Now, while the latter phrase I can give a pass, I find the former objectionable. There is always an economy, good or bad. I got a C on my Macro final mostly because I couldn't fathom how to reduce the economy to a point on a line or a variable in an equation, but I did understand that the existence of an economy was a constant in even basic societies.

Saying "the impact of the economy" is imprecise and euphemistic. We're in a recession. That's a problem. We're also in an economy, that's a constant.

There's a credit crisis, which may effect my organization (well, not mine, but ones that rely on credit). The financial system collapsed. There are lots of scary nouns and adjectives we can throw around, either to modify "economy" or to replace it. Choose the most applicable. Recession will do fine in most cases.

What will the impact of the recession be on my organization? I don't know, and it's scary to think about. Probably we need to do some strategic thinking and plan several scenarios. Asking me about the "impact of the economy" isn't less terrifying, it's just less precise. And annoying. Yes, I've seen that episode of the West Wing. So fine, call it a bagel. Call it whatever you want. But don't pretend that asking me about the impact of the economy means anything.

Saturday

As a caveat, a am not a morning person, and I never wake up on time. But truly, 9 AM class on a Saturday is cruel and unusual. I remember being in Driver's Ed on Saturdays for two months in high school. It was terrible. If you are going to have a meeting or a class, for the love of God, make it start at 10 AM.

No Headphones, No Respect

God invented headphones s that people can listen to their own music privately. This is particularly useful in public places, like the train. So when I am waiting for the train, I am often taken aback by people with small, personal electronics that they are using without headphones at all. Strange! Against God's plan, some might say.
Equally irritating, though less 'weird,' is wearing headphone that play your music so loudly that I can hear it despite the fact that it is intended to be private. Again, I don't get it.
This is all by way of saying: Hey, on the train, keep your music (and your hands) to yourself, unless you are the adorable old black guys who sing in faux-barbershop quartets and tell me to smile, baby.

Doing EVERYTHING on Facebook

Seriously, is it actually so hard to go to another website to send some person, oh, an email? Or an e-card? It's all in the same browser. I get worried when EVERY internet activity becomes subsumed into one interface. It's weird. Perhaps this is my American aversion to monopoly speaking (not the game, though). But honestly, if you want me to sign a petition, it's okay to just email it to me. Its okay to just go to Someecards and pick out a card. It's okay to just ask me to watch a Youtube video on actual Youtube.
This is probably just me. I am in some ways adverse to extreme versions of efficiency. Feel free to disagree.

Car owners in Chicago have to pay a lot of fees. In theory I support this, but that's off topic. What I don't support is when the state and/or city makes it difficult to comply with various car-related regulations.

Here's an example. I received a notice on Saturday that my license plate renewal application had been rejected (non-Illinoisans: every year we have to pay $91 to get a new sticker for our license plates. This is not the same as renewing your registration or getting a new City of Chicago sticker or...etc). The reason for the rejection? No emissions test on file. I guess that's reasonable...

...I drive a super-ultra-low-emissions vehicle, FYI, but that's apparently beside the point.

I need the new stickers on my car by 2/28 or I risk huge tickets. Man, I wish I'd been given more than 5 work days to deal. and looking at my schedule I would have to go this morning, and have to be done by 10:30am or I'd have to wait until next week and risk the damn tickets.

The emissions testing facility and the driver's services facility are both open from 8am - 5pm on weekdays.

Getting the emissions test and the stickers this morning was, in isolation, easy enough. There were ~10 minute waits at both locations, not too bad, and I was prepared with filled out forms and pre-written checks and knew which line (driver's services v. vehicle services, which is not as clear a distinction as one might assume) to stand in. I do remember that 8 years ago when I first started dealing with car-related stickers and forms and lines I found it all incredibly confusing and it took much longer.

Here's the rant part: the emissions test site is more than 7 miles away from the nearest plate-renewal place. Which means that these 2 errands took TWO HOURS from leaving my house to arriving at my office.

If emissions testing is a requirement for sticker purchase, how come I can't buy the stickers at the emissions test site or vice versa? At the very least if I'm going to have to drive all over the damn city the hours should be different. I know for budget reasons they can't have extended days every day, but why can't they open early one day a week? Or stay open late one day?

This does not even address the absurdity of the fact that I was never told I needed an emissions test to begin with. Apparently I'm to blame the USPS for that as I was supposedly mailed a notice. Whatever.

GET IT TOGETHER ILLINOIS!

What, did you expect me to write about the Oscars? I have some strong opinions, don't worry. But at the moment I'm too annoyed about my car.

Euphemisms

I love terrible pop music--my most recent love is Lady GaGa, who is awesome and refuses to wear pants. Love it, love her, love the dress, love the shoes, love it.
However, I must take this opportunity to object strongly to some of the euphemisms that she uses for sex. She "want to take a ride on your disco stick." Seriously, Gaga? Seriously? That's the best you can do? Disco stick?
Honestly, it's no wonder kids don't grow up knowing the proper names for their lady and boy parts, or how talk about sex. I blame pop music. Obviously, I am blinded by the sheer intensity of "disco stick"and can't come up with any other good examples. But I know they're out there.

Aggro Swimming

I am not a fan of aggressive behavior. I think it seems a sign of our diminished sensitivity that is so common in our modern world. But honestly, there are some places where I understand it, like getting off the subway or being pushy about your cable guy being 5 hours late. I can deal with it in these contexts, because I understand that it is important to stand up for one's self.

But there is one place where this behavior doesn't make sense: the pool. When I go for a swim, I do s not just for the exercise, but also for the calming effect of the repetitive activity. It's like a meditation. I enjoy that. What I don't enjoy? An 85 year old who swim short laps so he cut in front of other swimmers. Swimmers who try unsuccessfully to pass me and then weirdly run into me. I am over it. I am not interested in this behavior. It makes exercising unpleasant, and it is totally unnecessary. Just swim at the pace of the lane. If you want to swim fast, swim in the fast lane. Unbelievable.

So, if you swim, or run, or whatever, try to be polite and respectful of other people. It's only right, and I do it for you. Also, old cutting in front of people man, pull up your shorts. I saw your old man butt like 4 times.