Gossip Mags and Jessica Simpson

Confession: I love to read trashy gossip magazines and blogs. I am part of what's wrong with America. It's true. I will decry the fascination with Brangelina's children while secretly poring over every last photo as if there were a quiz.

My name is Heidi, and I subscribe to US Weekly.

Even I, however, have standards.

First, I don't know who Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are. I don't know why they are famous, and I don't care. So I have to skip all the articles about them (there goes half the magazine).

Second, although the occasional hypocrisy is kind of funny--I especially enjoy the feature where they bust the other weeklies for spreading false rumours on one page while starting competing rumors on the next--there are limits.

Case in point: if in the last issue you had a whole feature about Jessica Simpson (including photos of her in those truly unfortunate pants) then this week you can't have a cover story proclaiming "Jessica's Agony: Bullied for her weight".

That's like when the class bully does a special presentation to the whole class about how bullying is bad. It all sounds a little hollow.

Of course, were you to actually read the article you'd see that mixed in with the coverage of the extensive coverage (...) of J. Simp's waistline is a hearty dose of pop psychology about why she's let herself go.

I have strong opinions on two issues. First, why do we care? I mean, really? Isn't Jessica Simpson supposed to be a singer? Second, assuming that we do care, how is it reasonable to go from saying nasty things about her to the very next week write an article about how the media is bullying her? And as a coup de grace in that very article throw in more snide comments about her weight?

Of course, I did read the entire magazine. Except the part about how Lauren Conrad (who?) bought a new house.