People who email "unsubscribe me"

We all get more e-mail then we want. I'm sure of that. Often it is tempting to unsubscribe from lists that send boring newsletters or overwhelm your inbox with discount offers. Fair. However, there's a huge difference between an automated marketing email and spam. Fundamentally, you had to opt-in (or fail to opt-out of) legit marketing efforts and those emails comply with the CAN-SPAM act of 2003.

All of those automated emails have a link at the bottom that you can click to automatically unsubscribe. All of them. BY LAW. If they don't, they are spamming. These companies would, frankly, much rather have you unsubscribe then, for example, hit the "mark as spam" button on your inbox (I'll get to why down below).

But the most annoying thing, the least helpful option, is for you to reply to that email. Because as soon as you do that a human will have to unsubscribe you, and it will take him or her more time--much more time--than it would take you to unsubscribe yourself. Why? Because he or she (and, ok, I *am* talking about me here) will have to login into the email service provider, look up your email--which sometimes isn't the email you replied from, if you have forwarding on WHICH IS OFTEN--and then unsubscribe you.

Ok, yes, this isn't a huge deal. I can unsubscribe you. I'm logging into the ESP (that's Email Service Provider) anyway to check on my click rate. BUT WHY COULDN'T YOU CLICK THE LINK AT THE BOTTOM OF THE EMAIL? It's in the same place on basically every marketing email you get, and it is less effort for you than actually replying.

So please, find the unsubscribe link. If there isn't one, report the originating company. File a complaint. Or even press the "report spam" link.

BONUS: Why do I not want you to choose "report spam"? Because every time you hit that button, your ISP (internet service provider) identifies the originator as a spammer. Which is awesome if they actually are. However, if they are a legit marketer, getting complaints from an ISP is bad. Because, you see, enough of these complaints and the ISP will block all emails from the originating company, and assume that they are spamming until proved otherwise. While I totally know that getting 25% off offers from J. Crew basically every single day (seriously J. Crew? I'm never paying full price again) is annoying, it is not the same as getting asked to give money to Nigerian princes.

Furthermore, if an emailer gets blocked by an ISP it's not just that their emails won't get through to you. They won't get through to anyone who uses your ISP. Oh, and if the company sends its email through an ESP? Well, sometimes all clients of that ESP will be effected. So if you report that discount offer from American Airlines as spam it could potentially mean that I am not able to send you information about my upcoming show. Think of the children people, think of the children.