(Hybrid) SUVs

This borders on the non-trivial, but my ire is perhaps disproportionate, so I think the theme holds. Feel free to comment if I'm wrong.

There are precisely two scenarios where owning an SUV is acceptable: you live in an area with rough access (mountains, dirt roads that cross streams, no roads at all) or you simply must tow other things behind your car. And actually, in the second case, I'm not convinced.

There is no rationale--none--for owning an SUV in the city. I'll bet that Dixie's old Jetta station wagon had more trunk space than any mid-sized SUV. As for the behemoth SUVs, there is no excuse. Most people do not need to drive that much stuff around on a regular basis. If you have many kids, then minivan. If you run a business, a van. If, like Dixie, you find yourself hauling heavy things--props, scenery, musical equipment--every day, then an adorable pick-up truck makes a lot of sense.

Furthermore, many people who say they "need" the space claim that because once a year they go on a big road trip or help a friend move. This is an irresponsible way to calculate what type of vehicle you "need". What should go into the calculation is the daily/weekly routine. The exceptions can be efficiently dealt with as they come up.

I know that SUVs were, for a time, cool. This is on the face of it absurd, and luckily we mostly got over that when gas prices went through the roof and people realized that driving enormous and inefficient vehicles was not a smart move. See: collapse of the American car industry.

I'm sure you all know why I am anti-SUV. In a nutshell, I care a little about the environment. As my sister likes to put it, I care enough not to be an asshole, but not so much as to inconvenience all my friends or completely give up on the comforts of modern life. SUVs are absurd by any measure.

However, buying a new car before you need one is also environmentally irresponsible. If you currently own an SUV in good repair, the most responsible thing to do is to keep driving it until it is dead (or sell it to someone who will do the same). The only purpose for a hybrid SUV is to make people feel like they are making a responsible, hip, green choice by buying one.

This is wrong. I am by no means an expert, but my research indicates that hybrid SUVs are less efficient than most normal, non-hybrid, cars. While there are some minor fuel savings when directly compared with station wagons or bigger sedans, those are for the most part offset by manufacturing methods and materials, not to mention driving styles (if you want a screed on that, email me. I don't want to bore everyone).

In the interest of full disclosure, I have an 8-year old Prius. I got it in February 2001 (happy birthday car!) and for the first two years was often stopped at red lights to answer questions about my weird car. Strangers in parking lots wanted to know if I had to plug it in, and whether I was worried about electrocution (no to both). At the time, I was optimistic that by the time I needed a new car, the hybrid would be obsolete. It was, in 2001, so obviously a bridge technology. Oh, how wrong I was. My Prius is showing signs of age, and it is still cutting edge. So while I support hybrid technology, I'm really sad that it is not further on the way toward obsolescence.

Back to hybrid SUVs. My major problem is that unless you belong to the small subset of people for whom driving an SUV is a necessity, a hybrid SUV is still an irresponsible choice of vehicle. Hybrid SUVs represent exactly the time of "green" consumerism that is actually bad for the environment, and come wrapped with a sense of smugness.

So please. If you just want the hybrid label, and think a Prius is ridiculous looking and tiny (true) consider a hybrid Camry. For the three days a year that you need more space, consider a UHaul ($20/day rental) or a clamshell for the top. Or ask Dixie if you can borrow her pick-up truck. It's super cute.