People Who Spoil TV Shows

I'm looking at you Time Out Chicago. Thanks for telling me who got kicked off Top Chef last night.

This is the age of DVRs. There's no such thing as appointment television anymore. The one show I care enough about to try to schedule my life around airs on Friday nights (because I'm a nerd), and since I like being married I usually have to wait until Saturday morning to watch. The rest of the shows aren't defining my schedule.

But here's the thing. Just because I didn't watch it last night doesn't mean I won't want to watch it sometime soon. Probably on the weekend when I have more free time. Or some night when I'm going to catch up on a bunch of television. And it's going to be really annoying if I already knows what happens.

There are some obvious boundaries here. I think it's probably fine for me to tell you that Jay wins the first season of Project Runway and that the second season of Lost begins with them finding that Desmond lives in the hatch. Those things happened a couple years ago. It's also ok for me to say that the rag tag fleet finds Earth, and it sucks. But within the first week of a television show airing it is simply inconsiderate to blurt out what happens without fair warning. Fair warning is easy "Hey, did you see Top Chef last night?!" replaces "Oh my god! I can't believe _____ got kicked off Top Chef last night!!" In print and on blogs a bold sentence declares: "spoiler warning: the following paragraph discusses last night's episode." That way when you inevitably give in and read ahead it's totally your own fault. You've been warned.

I'm also not going to tell you how The Murder of Roger Ackroyd ends, unless you ask. You know why? Because that book would stink if you knew the ending going in. Just read and enjoy. The long-term literary merit of reality television shows is much more dubious. However, the immediate entertainment value is similarly ruined if you tell me how it ends.

I just had the realization that most of this blog could be summed up in the following three words: DON'T BE RUDE.