Fake Veganism

Okay, recently I have tried a series of diets, none too noteworthy or, to be honest, none that have worked. Because I like to be informed, I decided to go see a nutritionist, who gave me excellent advice, as well as read the book Skinny Bitch. For fun, or so I thought.

Now, I thought this book was basically going to be funny and have funny advice like "drink wine," "don't eat microwaved meals while sitting in bed watching Hulu," and "have sex, it burns like 500 calories!" (All good dieting advice, btw.) But no, Skinny Bitch is a tome dedicated to convincing scared women that they real way to lose those last ten pounds is to become a vegan.

Now, I like vegans. I think people who are vegans are brave and have will power that I don't have. In short, that's great, but it's not for me. But this whole book is basically a less interesting version of Fast Food Nation, the moral of which is that being fat is the worst and being a vegan is the answer. Because everything we eat is disgusting. Forget it. So not my bag of gluten-free baked chips! It basically just seems like a great excuse for teenagers who frequent pro-ana websites to never eat a family meal ever again. But I digress...

So, my "diet" is going to have to consist of exercise, mainly my horrible, self-hating Bikram yoga, which will inspire a post on "integrated product synergy systems," or Why I Hate that my Yoga Studio Makes Me Feel Like I Have to Drink SmartWater."